Self worth. I want the peers today to always remind themselves their worth as a person. That what you give is an extension of who you are and if they don’t appreciate it then you don’t let your emotions talk to you. No one should be an exception except the ones who reach out to you too. I want the peers today to understand that no matter how much memories you have made with that person, they can change. Even if you have promised the future om who you will be and what you will have, thet truth is, you can lose them in a blink of an eye.
Everytime I look at you, I wonder how could I be so lucky to be with an angel when I was so sure I’m in a living hell.
I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. I was thinking that maybe we are from the same star. Or maybe not? Because when I am looking at the stars, love, I am looking at you. I miss you, ace.
They don’t care about you. They don’t care if it hurts. They care about you. They care that it hurts.
They don’t care if you’re bleeding. They don’t care about your worth. They care if you’re bleeding. They care about your worth.
They don’t care if you almost cry. They don’t see your tears. They worry when you cry. They worry at the sight of your tears.
They just simply don’t care about your existence. They don’t care even if you did. They just simply don’t show it enough. They care, even if you don’t think they don’t.
My depression almost always involve my body figure. Whenever someone tells me that I’m too skinny.. if kumakain pa ba ako.
It makes me so conscious. At the end of the day, I’ll find myself staring at the mirror and the self-pity begins.
I’m not slim by choice. I eat a lot, so I could gain weight. I’m innately matakaw.
I eat healthy foods. But I eat junk foods too. I cut back on sleeping late before but wala eh balik sa sleeping habits. Body clock sucks. I’ve done everything, pero useless.
Then I’ll start hating myself. It could go on for a week. This time, it only lasted for a few days. I recovered today.
Then I’ll scold myself for the mth time for caring and listening to what other people say. It’s an annoying cycle.
No matter how hard you condition yourself to be mentally strong and not let shit affect you, it’ll still weigh you down.
I know there are so many things to be thankful for… and he is one of them.
I never really cared about being the best. I never cared about getting better. As long as I am happy. But thinking that being with him made me want to be better. So I could deserve him. So I could make him proud. So people around us won’t judge him for having such poor taste. I wanted to be better for him. To be worthy.
I know he will love me for what I am. But should he settle for someone like me?
I am every bad thing that he is good at.
But that’s okay. Now, I am doing it my way to be the best. Not only for him, but also for my family and myself.
For the second time..
I saw you.
And I am happy.
I asked your friends a favor if we can do the sabwat thingy again. Sorry for not telling you, I just want to surprise you again.
I saw the guy who was standing. And I knew it was you. I saw you and I walked toward you. Guess what? I was already half-laughing and smiling while I was walking towards you. I can still remember your expression when I said ‘hi’ at your back. You jumped a little. That was cute. Time flies fast that you have to be in line already. I was not joking when I told you, I was ‘tampo-ing’ because I just arrived and you said you have to go to the line now. That was kinda sad.
While waiting for you, I was happy to be with your friends. Especially with Trisha. We spent time talking to each other and she shared some thoughts and some girly stuffs. We were sitting at the seaside. I’ve got to admit that her stories that she talked about was funny for me. That was about you. About uh.. secret baka machika.
9 PM came and the concert was done. I was sitting on the floor when you arrived. I glanced at you. You looked exhausted.
I don’t know why but you always give me collywobbles. Effortlessly.
Talking while walking, walking together, close together… That makes me happy especially it’s you.
Looking at you makes me say, I only see the man who serves my entire being. My heart. My soul. My life. I know I can’t give you the world, but you can have the entirely of mine.
Time passed and I have to go home.
I can still feel my left arm wrapping around your waist and your right arm wrapping around my shoulder. Kilig acouh.
Thank you for the hug. The hugged gave me comfort. I just wish I hugged you a little longer.
See you soon again.