Again

For the second time.. 

I saw you.

And I am happy.


I asked your friends a favor if we can do the sabwat thingy again. Sorry for not telling you, I just want to surprise you again. 

I saw the guy who was standing. And I knew it was you. I saw you and I walked toward you. Guess what? I was already half-laughing and smiling while I was walking towards you. I can still remember your expression when I said ‘hi’ at your back. You jumped a little. That was cute. Time flies fast that you have to be in line already. I was not joking when I told you, I was ‘tampo-ing’ because I just arrived and you said you have to go to the line now. That was kinda sad.

While waiting for you, I was happy to be with your friends. Especially with Trisha. We spent time talking to each other and she shared some thoughts and some girly stuffs. We were sitting at the seaside. I’ve got to admit that her stories that she talked about was funny for me. That was about you. About uh.. secret baka machika. 

9 PM came and the concert was done. I was sitting on the floor when you arrived. I glanced at you. You looked exhausted. 
Fast forward..
I don’t know why but you always give me collywobbles. Effortlessly.

Talking while walking, walking together, close together… That makes me happy especially it’s you.

Looking at you makes me say, I only see the man who serves my entire being. My heart. My soul. My life. I know I can’t give you the world, but you can have the entirely of mine.
Time passed and I have to go home.

I can still feel my left arm wrapping around your waist and your right arm wrapping around my shoulder. Kilig acouh. 

Thank you for the hug. The hugged gave me comfort. I just wish I hugged you a little longer.

See you soon again.

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Choose

It was hot, but I ran in the horizon anyways. 

I was exhausted, but I never complained. 

Disappointment down an effort but, I smiled and moved on. 

I saw chaos, but damn, I ignored. 

There are a lot of things to be sad, but there are more things to be happy about. 

You decide on what road you’ll take. 

For your choice will decide your day,  everyday.

How?

How do you un-love someone? Someone who is obviously not right for you and committed to somebody else. Loved you and left you twice. How?

“How do I stop loving someone?”

“How do I un-love someone?”

These are the common questions I get asked. If the love is real and it is strong enough to cause you turmoil, then you simply can’t stop loving someone because we do not have on and off switch that way. We don’t transfer love from one person to the next the way we turn over an hourglass. Freud said, “We are never so defenseless against suffering, as when we love,” and that is the price of loving. You can’t erase it, rewind it, or suck out all we’ve invested in one person and spit it out. The only way I know how to ease the ache of loving someone who is wrong for you, who has wronged you and offended you, is to love yourself. I know it’s a dumb cliche, but it’s also underrated. Why is this person deserving of your love when they can’t return it? Why do they get to receive your devotion when they can’t give you the same? As the giver of love, why don’t you deserve the same devotion, forgiveness, and reciprocation from yourself? If you give yourself all the time, care and attention, and actually get used to it, you’ll find that you won’t let anyone else treat you less than how you treat yourself. Stop being the understudy, the second fiddle, the alternate lover when things are going wrong with #1.

You’re the main event. With you, he or she will get all they ever need and want and shouldn’t needanything more. If you are not enough, and if they do not see your worth and the kind of life you can give them, they sinply aren’t the one for you and they deserve to stay where they are. Think more highly of yourself, not just in love, but in all things. Demand no less than full disclosure and proof that he/she is free of other commitments. It’s true, there are no guarantees that someone will not hurt you again. There is also saying that goes, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” At a certain point we need to take responsibility for our misfortunes and recognize how we’ve allowed ourselves to be treated, and ask ourselves why we allow it. I’m a believer that if you make yourself #1, others will follow suit. They will see that there is no space in your life for someone isn’t all in. Take all your chips back from the table. From this point, you’re the dealer. If someone shows you the wrong set of cards, they’re busted. You don’t keep giving them cards. Capice?

More Time

I am so tired of pretending. I hate having to pretend that I am perfectly fine all the time. I just want to lie down on the bed and cry.  I just want to release my feelings. It is tiring to put myself together everyday because the truth is I am falling into pieces. And I will just break again. I just want to stay broken, so I can slowly mend myself. And I just need more time to do that.

Love

Every relationship has a cycle

In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to ‘do’ anything. That is why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened to you.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It is a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it is learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does ‘not’ lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And temporarily you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found. ‘Sustaining’ love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands ‘wisdom’. You have to know ‘what to do’ to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is not a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling. Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

I haven’t been into relationship but based on the stories that I heard from my friends were heartbreaking so I decided to write a blog about relationship.