Self Worth

Self worth. I want the peers today to always remind themselves their worth as a person. That what you give is an extension of who you are and if they don’t appreciate it then you don’t let your emotions talk to you. No one should be an exception except the ones who reach out to you too. I want the peers today to understand that no matter how much memories you have made with that person, they can change. Even if you have promised the future om who you will be and what you will have, thet truth is, you can lose them in a blink of an eye.

Advertisements

Care

They don’t care about you. They don’t care if it hurts. They care about you. They care that it hurts.

They don’t care if you’re bleeding. They don’t care about your worth. They care if you’re bleeding. They care about your worth. 

They don’t care if you almost cry. They don’t see your tears. They worry when you cry. They worry at the sight of your tears.

They just simply don’t care about your existence. They don’t care even if you did. They just simply don’t show it enough. They care, even if you don’t think they don’t.

Involve

My depression almost always involve my body figure. Whenever someone tells me that I’m too skinny.. if kumakain pa ba ako.
It makes me so conscious. At the end of the day, I’ll find myself staring at the mirror and the self-pity begins.
I’m not slim by choice. I eat a lot, so I could gain weight. I’m innately matakaw.
I eat healthy foods. But I eat junk foods too. I cut back on sleeping late before but wala eh balik sa sleeping habits. Body clock sucks. I’ve done everything, pero useless.
Then I’ll start hating myself. It could go on for a week. This time, it only lasted for a few days. I recovered today.
Then I’ll scold myself for the mth time for caring and listening to what other people say. It’s an annoying cycle.
No matter how hard you condition yourself to be mentally strong and not let shit affect you, it’ll still weigh you down.

Doing It My Way

I know there are so many things to be thankful for… and he is one of them.

I never really cared about being the best. I never cared about getting better. As long as I am happy. But thinking that being with him made me want to be better. So I could deserve him. So I could make him proud. So people around us won’t judge him for having such poor taste. I wanted to be better for him. To be worthy. 

I know he will love me for what I am. But should he settle for someone like me?

I am every bad thing that he is good at.

But that’s okay. Now, I am doing it my way to be the best. Not only for him, but also for my family and myself.

I

Me, Myself, and I

WARNING: Everything you will read is about me.

My name is Dianne Sheanne G. Peña, everyone calls me Dianne. I was born on November 11, 2001. My favourite colors are blue and black. I love to dance and to write. I am a fangirl. I am introvert but I am trying to be extrovert. In other words, I’m ambivert.

Everyone thinks that I am such a happy person, a happy kiddo and all. And that I have it all together, what they do not know is that, I am fucking dying on the inside. But I am lucky that my friends are always there for me even on my weakest days.

I always cry myself to sleep. And I always gets sad, I do not know why. I always try to make other people happy because I know how terrible it is to feel worthless and not cared for. And I could never let anyone else feel like that. So if you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that. Don’t let people feel that they are unwanted, make them feel that they are wanted and loved.

I easily gets jealous, if you are close to me, I want your full attention on me, not on the others. And yes, I am greedy as fuck.

I just want to be happy and feel that I am loved and cared.

More Time

I am so tired of pretending. I hate having to pretend that I am perfectly fine all the time. I just want to lie down on the bed and cry.  I just want to release my feelings. It is tiring to put myself together everyday because the truth is I am falling into pieces. And I will just break again. I just want to stay broken, so I can slowly mend myself. And I just need more time to do that.

Love

Every relationship has a cycle

In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to ‘do’ anything. That is why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened to you.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It is a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it is learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does ‘not’ lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And temporarily you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found. ‘Sustaining’ love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands ‘wisdom’. You have to know ‘what to do’ to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is not a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling. Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

I haven’t been into relationship but based on the stories that I heard from my friends were heartbreaking so I decided to write a blog about relationship.