Self worth. I want the peers today to always remind themselves their worth as a person. That what you give is an extension of who you are and if they don’t appreciate it then you don’t let your emotions talk to you. No one should be an exception except the ones who reach out to you too. I want the peers today to understand that no matter how much memories you have made with that person, they can change. Even if you have promised the future om who you will be and what you will have, thet truth is, you can lose them in a blink of an eye.
They don’t care about you. They don’t care if it hurts. They care about you. They care that it hurts.
They don’t care if you’re bleeding. They don’t care about your worth. They care if you’re bleeding. They care about your worth.
They don’t care if you almost cry. They don’t see your tears. They worry when you cry. They worry at the sight of your tears.
They just simply don’t care about your existence. They don’t care even if you did. They just simply don’t show it enough. They care, even if you don’t think they don’t.
My depression almost always involve my body figure. Whenever someone tells me that I’m too skinny.. if kumakain pa ba ako.
It makes me so conscious. At the end of the day, I’ll find myself staring at the mirror and the self-pity begins.
I’m not slim by choice. I eat a lot, so I could gain weight. I’m innately matakaw.
I eat healthy foods. But I eat junk foods too. I cut back on sleeping late before but wala eh balik sa sleeping habits. Body clock sucks. I’ve done everything, pero useless.
Then I’ll start hating myself. It could go on for a week. This time, it only lasted for a few days. I recovered today.
Then I’ll scold myself for the mth time for caring and listening to what other people say. It’s an annoying cycle.
No matter how hard you condition yourself to be mentally strong and not let shit affect you, it’ll still weigh you down.
I know there are so many things to be thankful for… and he is one of them.
I never really cared about being the best. I never cared about getting better. As long as I am happy. But thinking that being with him made me want to be better. So I could deserve him. So I could make him proud. So people around us won’t judge him for having such poor taste. I wanted to be better for him. To be worthy.
I know he will love me for what I am. But should he settle for someone like me?
I am every bad thing that he is good at.
But that’s okay. Now, I am doing it my way to be the best. Not only for him, but also for my family and myself.
“You’re too sensitive”
“You’re being overdramatic”
Minds are wired differently. We all know that, don’t we? What you take as a joke, or a bearable situation, can ruin the confidence of others, or increase their distress level. There are people who’d overthink words and situations in their heads until they are suffocated with their thoughts. They won’t be able to accept it. That’s how their brains are wired. That’s how the chemicals in their brains react and cause destructive thoughts thoughts. Mental illness are health issues just like cancer. And not unless we remove the stigma, we will able to help and understand. Don’t be a triggered when thoughts are already bullets.
You are important as the rays of the sun that gives life on Earth. From the soil of the Earth to the deepest parts of the sea, your worth can be seen.
Without you, the things around you will be different. Especially the closest around your circle. If you were not around, you may never have encouraged them in something that they are scared to try, you may never have loved them to give them strength to fight every day. And you may never have given them the life that they are seeking.
Wake up and see that you are important in the universe. For without “u”, the universe is just “niverse”.
My cousin told me yesterday that “Love is easy and life is not”
So while stargazing last night, I realized something about the universe.
The atoms that made up our bodies, and this planet are found in other planets, and the billion stars in the sky.
In other words, all that we see above us are what we are made of.
Sure, some of them changed because of extreme temperatures, but atoms are still atoms.
I came up with the conclusion that the universe lives inside us and that makes us relevant in this world and that’s all we want, right? To be relevant? To have meaning in life.
I realized that our purpose here in life is just to be happy. You know why? Because when we die, our atoms will just form into new, either living or non living things.
So instead of being sad about someone leaving you or taking you for granted or being sad about your irrelevant love life, just live.
Remember what Ed Sheeran said? You only have till 70 to live then just freakin’ live. 😂