I Wonder

Everytime I look at you, I wonder how could I be so lucky to be with an angel when I was so sure I’m in a living hell.

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Again

For the second time.. 

I saw you.

And I am happy.


I asked your friends a favor if we can do the sabwat thingy again. Sorry for not telling you, I just want to surprise you again. 

I saw the guy who was standing. And I knew it was you. I saw you and I walked toward you. Guess what? I was already half-laughing and smiling while I was walking towards you. I can still remember your expression when I said ‘hi’ at your back. You jumped a little. That was cute. Time flies fast that you have to be in line already. I was not joking when I told you, I was ‘tampo-ing’ because I just arrived and you said you have to go to the line now. That was kinda sad.

While waiting for you, I was happy to be with your friends. Especially with Trisha. We spent time talking to each other and she shared some thoughts and some girly stuffs. We were sitting at the seaside. I’ve got to admit that her stories that she talked about was funny for me. That was about you. About uh.. secret baka machika. 

9 PM came and the concert was done. I was sitting on the floor when you arrived. I glanced at you. You looked exhausted. 
Fast forward..
I don’t know why but you always give me collywobbles. Effortlessly.

Talking while walking, walking together, close together… That makes me happy especially it’s you.

Looking at you makes me say, I only see the man who serves my entire being. My heart. My soul. My life. I know I can’t give you the world, but you can have the entirely of mine.
Time passed and I have to go home.

I can still feel my left arm wrapping around your waist and your right arm wrapping around my shoulder. Kilig acouh. 

Thank you for the hug. The hugged gave me comfort. I just wish I hugged you a little longer.

See you soon again.

Possible

I asked myself if it’s really possible to fall in love if you don’t really know the person. And my answer is yes.

When I first knew Ace, he was just nothing but a friend to me. After 1 year and a half, I fell for him. Not in love but the type of infatuation that goes beyond my standards of knowing a person before liking them. 2 years have passed since that day but I am not sure of the date and I got to admit that there are a lot of handsome boys around Quezon City but whenever I think of him, I will still choose Ace over handsome boys. 

In the most awkward place. From waiting that turned into days, I saw him without haste, with everything full of grace. Meeting Ace felt like a dream. Seeing him in person makes me feel assured. ーI find comfort in him. I told myself before, “One day, meeting you won’t only happen in my dreams.” And it came true. 

I was happy that it’s really possible to see you, hold you, stare at youーlove you.

It’s funny how something really new comes to your life without acknowledging it. Parang, “Oh nandyan ka na pala!”  kind of serendipity. I met Ace at a place full of people with smiles and I never looked back after then. After that, I get to know him better by talking to him and it clicked instantly. I know Ace and I are different but we love the same things. I like him before yet I still do now but I love him more and moreーeveryday. I love his boring side, his awkward side, his crazy side and above of all that: I love his annoying side wherein he will annoy me by calling me, “Noona”, “Friend”, “Opo, nay.”  He’s literally the most annoying person in the world with his calling names and stories. But I love hearing him calling me names or whatever. 

If you’re going to ask me how much I love Ace, let me put it this way; I have something that some people search their whole lives to findーand I found it in him.

Rainy Days

If you think I am going to write about rain, no, you are wrong. On days like these, I find myself thinking of Ace. I will write about himーagain. I missed writing about him.

I am not going to lie but these days he kept making me smile without him knowing. And I love how effortlessly he can do that, because for me, I know he isn’t awareーalways. He keeps making me blush and feel embarrassed of myself and it is okay for me.

Sometimes I find it hard when I write about him because I feel like I am always running out of words to say and I cannot completely describe what I feel. Whenever I talk to him (sometimes) I cannot think straight because I always end up daydreaming or being boom (sabog haha) but I want that. And I do not care if I embarrassed myself again, I just want him to smile because of me. Now I wonder if I ever did make him smile.. Once? Twice? Thrice?

I never thought I could ever someone like him because baby, that’s the first. He is the reason why I am smiling, even though everything’s gone bad.

Do you know why I want to talk to you all the time? I’d just like to feel a little less dead because you make me feel so alive. (Please do not be annoyed because I love talking to you) Honestly, I miss the times when you told me, “Good morning!” and you were telling that you were going home, that you were crossing the street, that you arrived home safely, and talking how your day wasーI missed it all.

Oh! I am shy to admit but I love it when you told me, “Ang cute mo” . Do you know that when I’m telling you that I missed you my heart is racing too fast and when I pressed the send button my heart stops for a second. I am not sure how to describe it but I felt nervous? 

Anyways, I was not lying when I told you that your words are beautiful because it is really magnificent and too beautiful for me to handle. 

One thing I wanna say, please don’t belittle my feelings. You may not share my feelings but don’t belittle them. We both know that I like you, I love you. I know you always remind me sa ganito ganyan just appreciate what I’m doing hmm? I will be more glad if you do that. (I’m not saying that you belittle my feelings ha )

And Ace, thank you for making me feel that I am cared for and somehow special. It is actually addicting, it was like you formed yourself into my habit like daily coffee cups. But it would be glad if you dip me in your soul and tell me that I’m yours. HAHA CHOS. Thank you for listening about my rants and shts even though it was nonsense. But really, I appreciate you. A lot.

Would you mind staying in my life?

June 15, 2016 (Wednesday)

We started talking at 1:20AM and ended up 4:20AM. That was the first midnight conversation we had and the longest conversation I think. But I hope next time all day long and all night. Haha.

I am happy that I started it.

Then you followed.

Then we started chatting about random things, but we still manage to continue the conversation going, and I think our conversation comes out natural. We even teased each other, and laugh about the silliest things and bullied someone.

Thank you. 🙂

Love

Every relationship has a cycle

In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to ‘do’ anything. That is why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened to you.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It is a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it is learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does ‘not’ lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And temporarily you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found. ‘Sustaining’ love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands ‘wisdom’. You have to know ‘what to do’ to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is not a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling. Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

I haven’t been into relationship but based on the stories that I heard from my friends were heartbreaking so I decided to write a blog about relationship.