Confession

First of all I want to say thank you. Thank you because I met you and I have known you. Thank you for being my inspiration to everything.

We can still be friends after this, I know. At sisiguraduhin ko talaga hahaha. I hope you would not mind.

I do not know how, when, where, but one thing I am sure of, I like you. I like you, Ace. Neither as a friend nor brother, I like you because I like you.

Do you think you could be mine? Hahaha joke. Ang harot ko ano ba.

You do not have to respond in a positive way, it is okay if you reject me. Because I rejected myself before you’re going to. I know, one-sided lang ako, it is okay, I am used to it. Drama ko ano? Hahaha.

Masyado bang maaga o matagal(?) ang 1 year para masabi mong mahal mo ang isang tao? Hindi naman ‘di ba author-nim? 🙂 Well, I wouldn’t know that either. I know that this love isn’t my first time but I felt like it is a first time.

Yes, love. Mahal na yata kita.

ーcorrection*

Mahal na kita.

How did I even know I was already in love with you in the first place? I just knew.

It’s like waking up one fine morning and something will just click inside you. Like fitting a missing puzzle piece, a chain being unlocked, or finding a missing pair of your favourite socks. It is a feeling all emotions at once that you can’t help but to be overwhelmed.

You make it so easy to fall in love with you, Ace York.

                                                -S.A, Dianne.

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Me, Myself, and I

WARNING: Everything you will read is about me.

My name is Dianne Sheanne G. Peña, everyone calls me Dianne. I was born on November 11, 2001. My favourite colors are blue and black. I love to dance and to write. I am a fangirl. I am introvert but I am trying to be extrovert. In other words, I’m ambivert.

Everyone thinks that I am such a happy person, a happy kiddo and all. And that I have it all together, what they do not know is that, I am fucking dying on the inside. But I am lucky that my friends are always there for me even on my weakest days.

I always cry myself to sleep. And I always gets sad, I do not know why. I always try to make other people happy because I know how terrible it is to feel worthless and not cared for. And I could never let anyone else feel like that. So if you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that. Don’t let people feel that they are unwanted, make them feel that they are wanted and loved.

I easily gets jealous, if you are close to me, I want your full attention on me, not on the others. And yes, I am greedy as fuck.

I just want to be happy and feel that I am loved and cared.

June 15, 2016 (Wednesday)

We started talking at 1:20AM and ended up 4:20AM. That was the first midnight conversation we had and the longest conversation I think. But I hope next time all day long and all night. Haha.

I am happy that I started it.

Then you followed.

Then we started chatting about random things, but we still manage to continue the conversation going, and I think our conversation comes out natural. We even teased each other, and laugh about the silliest things and bullied someone.

Thank you. 🙂

More Time

I am so tired of pretending. I hate having to pretend that I am perfectly fine all the time. I just want to lie down on the bed and cry.  I just want to release my feelings. It is tiring to put myself together everyday because the truth is I am falling into pieces. And I will just break again. I just want to stay broken, so I can slowly mend myself. And I just need more time to do that.

Love

Every relationship has a cycle

In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to ‘do’ anything. That is why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened to you.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It is a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it is learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does ‘not’ lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And temporarily you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found. ‘Sustaining’ love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands ‘wisdom’. You have to know ‘what to do’ to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is not a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling. Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

I haven’t been into relationship but based on the stories that I heard from my friends were heartbreaking so I decided to write a blog about relationship.